Spike and Vicious' Day Off
by Pathetic4HeadedMassOfTentacles
Summary: Spike and Vicious want to enjoy their day off, but they are missing something important. Mild Spike/Vicious, drug use. Based off 'Spongebong Hemppants'


For the lulz

* * *

Spike and Vicious were at their apartment on their day off.

"Oh man, Vicious," Spike said as he bashed the buttons on his controller, "There is nothing I like more than playing Halo with my best friend." Spike laughed (Disregard that the game is over 50 years old, pretend it's one for the gate accident)

"Wha?" Vicious looked at Spike, obviously mishearing something. "I thought I was your best friend." He said with an angry frown, Spike laughed, and punched Vicious lightly. Last Vicious, he was Spike's only friend.

"Lighten up; seriously, it's our day of." Spike made a gesture of the room, and Vicious smiled.

"You're right, it is our day of."

Spike smirked as well, "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I sure am!" Vicious nodded, with that, Spike got up, walking towards the dresser in there room.

"Then I'll just roll up a big fat," Spike said as he opened the case where he stashed there weed, and Spike's smiled turned to a face of horror when he saw that the case was empty, "Oh, no!" He yelled.

"What's wrong Spike?" Vicious asked, standing up and scratching his ass.

"We're out of weed!" Spike pulled at his hair.

"Oh no!"

Spike and Vicious ran around in panic for a few moments around their shithole apartment before they bumped into each other, ignoring that their lips touched for a second before they fell to the floor, arms around each other, Spike rubbing his back, then another idea came to Spike's head, he stood up, his smile back on his face. "Wait!" he held up a finger, "I have an idea?"

"What?" Vicious grunted as he got up.

"We should buy more!"

"Yeah!"

_Minutes later… *Cough*_

Spike knocked on the door to Vince and Jane's den, seconds past before the door opened to show the black haired girl. "What do you want, Spike?" Jane asked, as if she wasn't pleased seeing them, but she was like that all the time.

"3 pounds of you finest stuff."

"That will be 4000 woolongs." Jane held out her hand for money.

"Oh?" Spike became a bit nervous, stuffing his hand in his pocket for money, "4000 woolongs, huh?" He pulled out his hand, only digging out a torn cigarette and a jizz infused Kleenex Vicious put in his pocket as a prank, of course, Spike's didn't know that was Vicious' semen, but he could hear Vicious laughing.

"That's a bunch of junk and some guy's jizz rag!" Jane yelled, Spike freaked out, dropping the cum rag on the ground, Vicious tried not to lose it right there. "Not even worth the stem! Fuck outta here!" Jane pointed the opposite directing, Spike got on his knees, holding on Jane's ankle, trying not to peak up her skirt because he really didn't want to.

"Please Jane! Just this one time! I'll be your whore, I'll even eat you out, just please let it slide!" he said, kissing her shin, he was that desperate, Jane chuckled, thinking how pathetic Spike looked and then scowled just as quickly, kicking Spike off, "No, no, no!" She yelled, looking at Spike on the floor. "And don't come back until you either get 4000 woolongs or something worth that much."

"But we're broke and don't have anything worth that."

"Then sell your asses on the streets." Jane said before she slammed the door in their faces.

"What do we do now?' Spike panicked, standing up and grabbing Vicious' jacket, "I don't want to suck off some fat Russia guy while a French motherfucker rapes me!"

Vicious was still laughing, Spike looked at him, puzzled, and then scowled "This isn't funny."

"No, but the fact that cum rag was mine was!" Vicious laughed, it took a few moments for Spike to register that before he made a noise of disgust and spat on his hand to clean it off and wiped it off on Vicious' jacket.

"What the hell, Vicious!?" Spike yelled, Vicious gasped for breath before he could respond.

"Oh, come on, it was dry, it's not like I jacked off and stuck it in your pocket right after." He reasoned, Spike sighed, he really shouldn't stay on it for long, and Vicious did grosser things like sticking a bloody dildo under his pillow.

"Yeah, so anyway, what are we gonna do now?" Spike asked, Vicious already had an idea.

"I know!"  
_Minutes later in some parking lot…_

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Spike asked as Vicious bashed open the car window, thankfully the car had no alarm so Vicious was able to jump in the car, although butting himself on a shard of glass.

"Yeah!" Vicious grunted in pain from the wound on his stomach, thankfully, he managed to find a purse, things where better than he thought minus the smell of stale cologne that filled the car. He dug through it a bit before he managed to find a wallet with at least 3000 woolongs in it and an IPod and for the fuck of it the stereo. He dragged himself back to the window to show the loot.

"Now we can give her this and a new IPod!" He jumped out the window and hugged Spike for a few moments before parting. "I do it all the time."

"And our asses remain unmolested!" Spike pulled down the back of his pants to show Vicious his tan ass, Vicious felt himself salivate a bit, reminding himself he'll have to hit that at some point. Spike laughed as he pulled up his pants and Vicious swallowed his drool.

"Hey!" They heard someone yell, Vicious and Spike turned around to see the owner of the store whose car they just robbed. "Get back here with my stereo."  
Spike and Vicious hopped in their car and drove off, few minutes later; they think they lost that dude when they got to Jane's place. They knocked on the door and Jane was there.

"Do you have-"

Spike cut her off by shoving the IPod, stereo and money while saying like Boomhauger, "HerewehaveaIPodastereothathopefullyworksand3000wo olongscanwehaveourweednow!?" Spike gasped for air when he finished and Jane grabbed the loot from Spikes hand with a smile.

"Hell yes!" Jane then pulled out a three pound bag of weed from her apartment and handed it to Spike and Vicious who ran off right after.

"This is awesome!" She said.

"Hey!"

Jane looked over seeing a man run after her, "That's my stereo!"

"Fuck." She said.

Boom!  
"You cock suckers!" Jane said as she flew through the sky and landed on the ground, her hand up, holding the stereo.

"No one steals my stereo, you got that?" The man said before grabbing his stereo from her hand.

"Oh, I got it." She said, her world spinning from the impact.

Meanwhile.

Spike and Vicious where back at their apartment, both smoking a joints while playing Halo, only this times Vicious wasn't playing Halo, he was playing a totally different game with Spike's joystick. Sitting behind him and rubbing Spike's cock in way to distract Spike.

"Nothing like playing Halo stoned while you're being jacked off, huh, Vicious?" Spike looked over his shoulder, seeing Vicious, eyes red and slightly most, smoke fumes floating past his face.

"Yeah." Vicious said lazily.

All of a sudden, there was a pounding at the door and a rasped voice yelling, "Spike and Vicious, you cocksucking cunts, you get out here and give me my money!"  
"Shit, Jane's here." Vicious said.  
"So?"

Vicious laughed, "Yeah.

They both laughed, "Screw her!"

Their laughter filled the small, dirty apartment.


End file.
